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Have you ever wake up one day, not knowing what is gonna happen and what you're gonna do? How will the day be like? A repetitive one or an impromptu one that make it interesting? One could never know until they themselves create their own story.

It could always start with "Once upon a day" and it could also end with "They live happily every after". This however is not a fairytale, although I've always prefer fantasy than reality, the reality will always slam in my face. I tend to realize and observed many things in reality and brood about it, giving some idiotic hypothesis and conclusion where sometimes it could be wrong but almost every time I'm right.

I tried not to over look or even over think but it just come naturally, which I really despise it. This makes me more mature than my own age.

I tend to go crazy and spout rubbish every now and then and laugh really loudly. This is the only best way to cover what I really feel inside, disallow others to enter my soul. Despite having some friends and a loving family, I still feel lonely and depress. At time I would like to scream or cry, or just dance till my feet hurts. I want to drown my sorrow but doesn't know how. It is like stabbing into a sponge which leaves no mark.

Smiling and laughing is like a shade to block my thoughts. Covers my constant overwhelming emotional feeling away from people. I smile because I need to and I can.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GBspNPsduA&feature=youtu.be missing piece by David Choi

I do feel something missing in my heart but I couldn't find it.

xoxo luv sapphirejest

Recap

Okay a long story short on these few months. For starters, I coincidentally met that (crab) guy again in Syndicate one Friday night whom I tried to ignore but I failed. Oh well, I named him Crab because his real name is Sebastian and it reminded me of Sebastian the crab in Little Mermaid. We still have a little contact with each other but only for a purpose. Another guy whom I danced with in the foam party was long forgotten- out of sight, out of mind.

Then in school, my lab partner became slightly kinder which really surprised me. At times he was kind and at times he wasn't, which really boggles my mind. But I don't give a damn. And I got to know more about this Nepalese petite girl who is really cute and funny but we're not that close. On the other hand, I got quite close to Dominic, my senior, and no apparent reason we became buddies!

Once he brought me to a house party, a freaking lame one that doesn't involve music or booze but only spending the time playing cards, which I still couldn't get it because all the time they use mandarin! Though I still stay and play. We exchange numbers, created a group chat and started hanging out a few times. Just recently, I've celebrated one of the birthdays and realized I've already celebrated 3 person's birthday. I can bet no one will celebrate mine as it is in the summer holiday, I'll probably be back to Malaysia with only my family to celebrate.

Aside that, one night after my last coursework of this term was submitted, I finally had a joint after 6 months in rehab. Well I'm not a smoker, but I stayed at home for 4 months and since I came to UK, I didn't smoke anything, so that was my first since I got here. It was extremely satisfying! I didn't get high, it was only a few puffs.

Well, I guess that's it.


xoxo luv sapphirejest

pu na na

Last Tuesday, my friends and I planned to go Pam Pam, sadly it was closed. Hence, we wanted to enter Bunker, but a girl in the group hated that place, god knows why, asked and she never replied and she was being fickle! Rejecting that suggestion but in the end saying it will be alright 'if' we did enter.

Somehow I always hated fickle-minded people, I did had the urge to slap her or just give some really nasty comment, but I just ignored her. Finally we went to the nearest club, just a few blocks down from Bunker and enter Pu Na Na. Though, I've never been in there, but i had the feeling it won't be good, because it is a Tuesday, and there was no queue outside.

As, we enter, the crowd was pathetic! It was so little, you could just walk without bumping to anyone! Despite of having a good time, dancing and jumping, the DJ wasn't good, the songs were on repeat after each 2-3 songs and the club closes before 2.30 a.m.! It was horrendous! Honestly, I was just exaggerating but yes, it was really bad! Probably the DJ and the early departure- I was still in a good mood though.

Anyhoodle, Pu Na Na have other days which are better on Tuesday. This is just my point of view, I don't wish to make an offense. Bunker is good on a Tuesday, it seems.

xoxo luv sapphirejest